Mother Wearing A Dress to Match the Color Scheme?
The Wedding Lens Blog receives questions from our readers on a regular basis — including in our Wedding Questions forum. Usually I try to sum up the question in different words, but I think this question needs to be in its own words:
“I will be attending my step daughter’s wedding in 6 weeks & I have not been given any details of bridal colours, MOB & MOG have NOT yet decided what they are wearing hoping to find something off the rack. I found & bought a long simple blue gown & left a message for the bride if this was ok as time is running out & I did want the mothers to have first choice of colour & well I need to wear something! She never said no but she never said yes, apparently her bridal party will all be purachasing their own gowns? What should I do – stick to what I bought & wear it or am I suppose to wait until the day before the wedding when I finally get everyone’s colours & hope I find something? HELP!”
photo from The Wedding Lens (not the reader!)
In reading about the attire for the mother of the bride and mother of the groom, there are a few “rules” — all of which are subject to the personalities of the people getting married. In my humble opinion, I do not think it matters whether you’re the mom or the step-mom.
- Talk to the bride about whatever her expectations are.
- Do not dress more formally than the bridesmaids.
- Try not to clash with the color scheme; pick neutral colors. (You do get to pick your own color!)
- Do not wear white or ivory or black — unless the bride is OK with it!
So, in this situation where the reader tried to talk to the bride (and the wedding is only 6 weeks away!) I think she’s doing the best she can. Blue is the perfect color! Regardless of the color scheme that the bride eventually chooses (if she has one?) it is unlikely that blue will clash. It is also unlikely that blue will make the guest stand out — something else you want to avoid!
My only warning: if you hear from the bride and she nixes the dress, give her some slack for the late notice. I’m sure she’s stressed and would otherwise have been more gracious in her response time.
Good luck!
~ Natasha
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Lenicam
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Alouise
I like it when the mother and mother in law wear the colors of the wedding and usually that is the same color the bridesmaids are wearing. It makes everything match and I think it makes them feel a part and important to the day. Afterall we go out of our way to make them wear special flowers to show who they are and that they are important so why not wear matching colors too.
The MOB/MOG dresses should NOT match the colors of the wedding/bridesmaids’ dresses.
When they say to “coordinate” the mother’s dresses, it means that the MOB should shop for her dress first, selecting a color that doesn’t clash with the wedding colors. Then the MOG gets to shop for hers, avoiding the color the MOB bought, but also keeping in mind to not clash with the wedding colors. If there are stepmothers involved, they get to shop last.