Questions to Ask Before Getting Married….

Comment Written by natasha on May 28, 2010 – 5:00 am

One of my very favorite New York Times articles was published in 2006 and is called “Questions Couples Should Ask (Or Wish They Had) Before Marrying.” It’s such great advice that I think you, dear readers, will benefit from it as well. I won’t copy directly — but I am definitely borrowing the ideas/topics and questions. So here’s a link to the original article…

1. Children: Do you want kids? If you do, who will be the primary care-giver?
2. Finances: What are your financial obligations? What are your goals? What are our ideas of spending and saving? Are we on the same page? (And do we feel comfortable discussing this candidly?)
3. Household: Who will cook? Who will clean? How will you manage the chores?
4. Health: Do you have any health issues? Are there health issues in the family? (Disclose it all… ’cause it will come up)
5. Affection: Are you as affectionate as your partner wants/needs you to be? Can you openly discuss your sexual needs and preferences?
6. Feelings: Do you listen to each other? Do you consider each others views, ideas, complaints, thoughts, feelings? 
7. Religion: Do you know and understand each other’s religious and/or moral beliefs? Do you know each other’s expectations and desires regarding your children’s exposure/involvement in religion?
8. Family: Do you like each others families? Do you get along with each others parents? Are you concerned that a parent will involve himself or herself in your relationship? Does your family do anything to annoy your partner? (And vice versa, of course?) Discuss. Again, this will come up later.
9. Friends: Do you like each others’ friends?
10. Sacrifice: What are you unwilling to give up in the marriage? (Are there things you wish your partner would give up in the marriage?)
11. Work/Moving: Hypothetical — if one of us is offered a job opportunity that is far away from family/friends, are you prepared to move? Is this an option?
12. Television: Will you put a television in the bedroom? Will you be watching tv before bed? Are there times that you want/do not want to watch tv?
13. Marriage: Do you each feel confident in each other’s commitment to each other and believe that you have the tools to survive whatever challenges may arise?

Are there other questions you think are really important to ask before getting married? Let us know!

~ Natasha