The Oblivious Bride – My Ladies in Gray

1 Written by jenny on June 7, 2010 – 5:00 am

While still plugging away at our search for a caterer (and I’ll admit that I am not trying very hard), Chris and I have been discussing other parts of our wedding.  Realizing that wedding planning can be very complicated, I decided I could use some advice and help from bridesmaids.  But we first needed to decide how big our bridal party will be.

Chris and I have this goal of including as many people in our wedding as possible.  We both value our friendships and would love for our friends to share in the festivities.  However, would they all be attendants?  Having several attendants might mean having more helping hands, but being a wedding attendant can be expensive for our friends (who would have to rent/buy outfits and travel to wedding-related events), and it’s also more expensive for us (more attendant gifts and more people at the rehearsal dinner).  Plus, we think we can get people involved in different ways.

Besides the size of the bridal party, we also discussed the possibility of having co-ed attendants or “trading” attendants.  As many of my closest friends are guys while my fiancé has several close female friends, we talked about swapping groomsmen for bridesmaids.  But when I thought of the traditional responsibilities of a bridesmaid (i.e. helping with dress shopping, taking care of the bride the day of the wedding) I thought it best to leave it in the hands of my best girl friends.

My choice for Maid of Honor was easy.  My big sister – the only sibling I have – is very important to me.  When I was introducing Chris to my family, she was the one I wanted approval from.  I’ve always known she’d be my Maid of Honor and I’m excited to have her by my side next year.  However, I had a second important decision to make…

Your Second-Most Important Attendant

Years before we got engaged, Chris told the story about a bad bachelor party he attended.  Everyone had a good time, but the groom’s brother – the Best Man – just wasn’t a great party planner.  After talking about it, Chris and I realized that we are spoiled.  We have an extraordinary group of party planning friends who organize city-wide scavenger hunts, elaborate Alice in Wonderland theme parties, and 50-person Tahoe trips for their birthdays.  It was then that we decided that besides your Best Man/Maid of Honor, a second position must be carefully chosen – your Bachelor/Bachelorette planner!  We decided that this role does not need to be the same person as your primary attendant, and the person selected for this position should understand their responsibility.

Now, don’t get me wrong.  I think my sister would do a fine job putting together my bachelorette party.  But she also has the important job of managing mom and dad through this planning process.  On the other hand, she is my sister and while we like to go out together, we don’t have the same group of friends.  It would be easier to ask a close girl friend who knew my other girl friends to put the event together.

After going back and forth for awhile, I’ve made my bridesmaid selections and I’m excited to have each of them involved with the wedding.  And I’m pretty sure they will all look fabulous in gray!

Next Week:  Dumb Questions and Answers