Wedding Question: Should I invite someone because she invited me?

2 Written by natasha on January 4, 2010 – 5:00 am

Photo from The Wedding Lens!

My fiance and I were trying to figure out a guest list for our wedding, but the numbers are out of control! We are the last of most of our friends to get married and we’ve gone to a ton of weddings (both together and separately). Some of the people we keep in touch with and we consider them to be true friends, who would obviously be invited to our wedding. But there are a few people whose weddings I went to year ago and I haven’t talked to the people since. Is it wrong for me to leave them off our list? We would love to invite everyone, but obviously we can’t do that! We’re just trying to figure out where we can cut some people, without being rude.

Well, I would guess that a lot of couples have this problem. You were invited to their wedding, but now you haven’t talked in years - still have to invite them to yours? I think the answer, like most answers, is that “it depends” and “use your best judgment.” Things to think about:

Size of the wedding. Was their wedding enormous? Is yours going to be? The larger your wedding is, the more awkward it is that you didn’t invite them — at least if you ever run into them again! 

 If you can’t invite someone who you do genuinely want to stay friends with (and they invited you), consider having a conversation. Most people who have planned their own wedding know the difficulties of developing a guest list and are likely to be sympathetic.

How much you’ve grown apart. Is this someone who you talk to once a year? Or, like, never?

How much you really want/don’t want them there. Some people who you’ve grown apart from, you may want to reconnect via your wedding invitation. It’s an easy way to get back in touch, but it is not obligatory! You can always get back in touch on another, non-wedding day.

Make sense? Good luck! Have a wedding question? Email me! natasha@theweddinglens.com. Remember, regardless of the size of your wedding, take pictures!

~ Natasha