Wedding Question: Should we invite co-workers?

Comment Written by natasha on May 14, 2010 – 5:00 am

We are mature adults blending familes. We are having a small wedding in the Smokey Mountains. We want to limit the number of guest. However we work for a large company. My future husband has been there 4 years and I have been there for 1 year. Should he invite his boss and his boss. If we invite them should we invite other close co workers?

Great question! This is a touchy subject for a lot of people. There are a few issues here: If you invite your work friends, do you have to invite your boss? Do you really REALLY want your boss at your wedding? Are you friends with your boss and/or coworkers? Or do you just spend a lot of time together?

It sounds like you and your husband probably have friends at work and you are probably friends (or at least friendly) with your bosses. The question for you is whether you are friends with them and would be inviting them as friends or whether you would be inviting them as coworkers.

I tend to think that people should do an “all or nothing” policy with coworkers — though there are exceptions to this rule which I’ll get to in a second. The reason why is because I suspect you dont want to offend your colleagues and if you have a blanket policy of “no coworkers” then you haven’t made anyone feel left out and you haven’t had to decide who to invite and who not to invite (and who you’re REALLY friends with and who you’re REALLY just coworkers with). Added bonus: it cuts your guest list.

The exception to the no coworkers rule is if you are really, truly friends with the people. We’ve all had jobs where there’s someone (or a few someones) who you socialize with outside of work — someone who you confide in and whose friendship goes beyond that of a mere colleague. In that case, you might also be close enough with the person to say “hey, we’re not inviting anyone else from work, so please keep it on the downlow that you’re coming.” And if you’re not close enough to say that, you’re probably close enough that the person should know to keep it quiet.

Really you should think about who you want to spend your wedding day with. If you have a limited guest list and want an intimate wedding in the mountains, I say forego the coworkers and the bosses. Stick with the family and friends.

Good luck!

~ Natasha