The Oblivious Bride – Who Officiates the Officiant? Part 2

Comment Written by jenny on July 12, 2010 – 5:00 am

To continue from two weeks ago, my fiance and I are currently deciding on our officiant.  As an officiant himself, he is putting together his tips for other first-time officiants…

Preparation.

In the last installment of “Who officiates the officiant?” I talked about the importance of focusing on the needs of the couple in preparation for the ceremony itself. But let’s talk about preparation for the big event. Months of planning, several hundred phone calls, endless decisions, family and friends flying in from around the globe and it has come down to this moment.

I had the great fortune of working with an amazing wedding planner during my second ceremony. She was warm, friendly, succinct, and definitive – in short; she was amazing. She got it done, on time, and on cue. And I watched, listened, and absorbed every fragment so that I could to learn how to run a ceremony as efficiently as she.

Over time, I learned that from rehearsal through certificate signing, if it has to do with the ceremony, you (the officiant) are in-charge. The wedding party needs definite and correct instructions to eliminate second guessing and be as prepared as possible. Your command of the ceremony will be crucial as you accept your role change from trusted friend to leader.

The Ceremony Rehearsal

To kick off the rehearsal, line the party up in the order in which they will be standing. Set the couple at a comfortable distance – have them hold both hands, facing each other. Get them comfortable. Then position the rest of the party with respect to the couple. Give the wedding party visual cues so that they can tell where they will be before the couple arrives. Give them permission to adjust when the couple is in place. If possible, check with the photographer to ensure the setup is optimized.  When all is set, have them perform the recessional, then reverse and do the processional; back to their places.

Plan for the unexpected: babies cry, the wind blows, speakers and microphones break, outfits malfunction. For these occasions, the Maid of Honor and Best Man are your go-to people. Empower them to act in case of emergency. When the Bride’s veil or dress gets out of hand, her Maid of Honor should be poised and ready to get it under control. Rings, bouquets, sand ceremonies, and written vows are all elements that can be managed by the wedding party; allowing the couple to focus on each other and experience the ceremony.

Trust me on this one: someone in the wedding party will be overly nervous. Surprisingly enough, I find it is not typically one of the wedding couple. Take a little extra time with this person. Give them clear instructions, be their leader. During one of my ceremonies, it turned out to be the Best Man – he was a nervous wreck. To help him out, I asked him to focus on me. I gave him some verbal cues within the ceremony to listen for, and assigned him even more tasks during the performance to keep him alert and engaged. He helped with one of the key elements of the service and was a complete and total hit!

A little preparation goes a long way. Simply prepare, rehearse, and breathe…

Next Week: Who Officiates the Officiant, Part 3